This weekend marks the official start of the “make absolutely everything in Frances’ book” campaign. A food-fest like no other over however many weeks it takes me to work through every cute, crafty and crazy recipe in her ridiculously good book.
I’m starting with the Malted Milk Tiffin because I was tipped off to its existence by the Good Food magazine and because it’s quite a nice place to start. I have all the ingredients, as I mentioned, except for the Barley Malt Extract. which I couldn’t get on the online shopping order.
So I did a quick good and discovered that I could get it at Holland and Barrett.
So I went there at lunch time.
And I asked one of the people in the shop where it was.
And he walked around the shop repeating “Barley Malt Extract” to himself, like a particularly low-rent Harry Potter trying out a sticky, sugary Patronus charm.
I’ll be honest, the idea when I asked the guy who worked there where it was was to get it as quickly as possible, although I hadn’t factored in the hoops I would have to jump through when it came to paying for it and my not-up-for-discussion acceptance of the loyalty card, for all those times I need to buy pasta with so much fibre in it you turn inside-out when you poo or another jar of the barley stuff (which could happen, depending how nice the tiffin turns out to be). This didn’t really work, though as although he both worked there and was in the process of stacking some shelves at the time I asked, he didn’t seem to know where things were.
I could have blindly staggered around the shop myself, without the malt mantra, and probably found it just as quickly basing my entire search on the fact that it would be in a jar and brown.
As it happens, he was put out of his misery (in the search, he wasn’t humanely destroyed) by another colleague who did, it seemed, know where everything was on the shelf.
So, that’s it. Game on. Well, it will be when the shopping arrives tomorrow and they’ve had to substitute all the other ingredients out for, I don’t know, hot dog buns or something. And I’m just stuck with a big jar of brown gunk.