Why the heck am I getting recorded messages for professional oven cleaning ringing me on a Saturday afternoon?
More to the point, why is anyone getting recorded messages for professional oven cleaning ringing them on a Saturday afternoon?
Or at any time, really.
I could sort of understand the messages when it was for replacement boilers and solar panels and wotnot, because they were off the back of various government schemes, but I am unaware that there is any sort of incentive in place with regards to the cleanliness of your oven.
So why I would want to press 1, no matter how many times they ask, to speak to a member of the team to arrange a visit by a highly trained, professional oven cleaner to come to my house is anyone’s guess.
Especially because, for some reason, the whole thing just sounds so bizarre and I could easily imagine it’s a room full of people just waiting to fleece you – you book a professional oven cleaner to come, but you have to pay an extortionate fee up front for the pleasure of having your hob buffed and then you want for them to arrive. And they don’t come.
But you do receive a bottle of Mr Muscle oven cleaner in the post.
Because that is a professional oven cleaner.
And then you can’t complain because technically they have provided you with the means to have your oven professionally cleaned. And before you know it you’re writing a strongly worded letter to Anne Robinson off of Watchdog who is so surprised that you fell for the scam that her face needs to react and fights against years of surgical tightening and botox and leaves her looking like that scraggly bit underneath a turkey’s head, thus bringing to an end her television career, because no-one wants to see that.
And that’s all because you wanted your oven professionally cleaned. By someone who rang you out of the blue.
The only people I could actually see going for this sort of thing are the people who pay to have their wheelie bins washed out on a bi-weekly basis as though it’s the most normal thing in the world and they’ve not considered just tipping a bucket of hot water and some detergent in there and swishing it round a bit themselves.
Which is pretty much what the professional bin washers do, the only different being that they then go home and swim in a big tower filled with money, like Scrooge McDuck off of Duck Tales.