I introduced Carole to the joys of American Pie this weekend. Like Adventures In Babysitting, it was one of those films that I couldn’t believe that Carole has never seen. So we sat down and watched it. And through the medium of film I discovered that Carole is actually quite a prude when it comes to gross out humour. This is a woman who can watch autopsies while having her tea, but show her a young man violating an apple pie and she has her head in her hands and is asking me to tell her when it’s finished.
So we watched the film. I’ve seen it more times than I care to remember, Carole’s never seen it. Carole realises that I have a thing for geeky redheads after I mention that I used to bloody love Alyson Hannigan and she knows that I have a soft spot for Felicia Day – a woman who, after seeing a couple of things with her in, Carole is willing to adopt. Everything was going great.
And then the whole magic of the film is ruined.
Early in the film Jim is told that third base is like warm apple pie. A little while later, Jim’s mum has made some apple pie. It’s presumably still warm at the point when Jim finds it, although no temperature tests are conducted and with what he does to it that could be quite risky as you never know when you’re going to burn your willy on a bit of hot apple.
Anyway, prior to that, his mum has left a note with the pie. It says something along the lines of “Mmm, apple pie. Your favourite, why don’t you just make love to it”. Or something. I don’t actually know what it says after “Your” because I didn’t get further than that. Because instead of saying “Your” it says “You’re”.
That’s it now. The film is ruined for me. I don’t care what happens to anyone. The whole thing is dead to me. Just because they put “You Are” instead of “Your”. That’s it. I’ve never noticed it before, but this time it was just staring out at me. Taunting me. I went online to see if I had seen what I’d seen. There was bound to be someone else who’d seen it.
And there was. There’s a whole raft of websites set up to expose movie mistakes. But I found no solace in finding them. Yes they confirmed that I’d seen “You’re” instead of “Your” but the rest of the pages just sucked all the fun out of any movie you could think of. I didn’t want to be like that. So now I’m trying to forget that I saw “You’re” when it should have been “Your”.
But it’s harder than you’d think.