Ever since I’ve known Carole she’s liked to take pictures.
One of her main vices is to get me to stand with my arms in the air (like I just don’t care) in front of signs and things of that nature because that indicates that a) we’re having a great time and b) where we are, which makes it easier when it comes to looking back through things.
In the past, I have stood by the signs for the shitty model village (not its real name) in Bridglington, The Deep in Hull and the Waterstone’s in Trafalgar Square (yes really, although it is from the time that strange Chinese lady was in the basement eating tomatoes from a bag and growling at everyone). I’ve also been asked to pose, comically, with a variety of statuary and to put my head through the cut out holes of many a novelty picture. Which is why, for quite some time, my Facebook profile photo was basically me as a carrot.
Today, we headed out to the Maize Maze in Cawthorne – a place we have been many-a-time and a place which requires a multitude of photographs to be taken of us lost in the maize (or the maze, I suppose) or posing with things in the maze – who can forget the year when the theme was Scarecrows and we ended up with pictures of the final scarecrow hugging us as we exited the maze. This year the theme was bees and, as we approached the maze itself, my heart sank a little…. because there was a picture of four bees in a row, with holes for the heads, obviously designed with the younger visitor in mind. I could see what was going to happen before it happened.
And yes, so it began.
“It’s better to do it now than when there’s loads of people about,” she said, gently persuading me to go and stick my face through a hole in a bee’s head. I knew that I should do it because if you don’t pose as requested she will turn violent, so I slowly trudged behind the bee picture and prepared to get into position.
Just as one of the Maze Masters came over, ready to explain the maze to us (we don’t need it, we’re experts!) and Carole just asked him to hang on for a minute because we’d just be taking a couple of pictures first. At which point I must have looked sad, or had pleading eyes or something because the Maze Master said the most magical thing ever.
“Oh no, this looks like it needs to be a team picture. You should get round there are well…” and took the camera off Carole so that she could join me in the throws of bee-based photographic japery.
Which, in general, is much better than the time she asked me to pose in the shark tunnel at The Deep and then, when I wasn’t looking, buggered off and left me standing there holding the pose.