Food Glorious Food

We’ve been to the Good Food show in Harrogate today.

It’s been a really good day but, quite frankly, we’re knackered and glad to be home.

I think, during the course of the day, I’ve tried more different flavours of cheese than I’ve eaten in my lifetime up to this point. And, I think it’s safe to say, I’ve fallen in love with more different flavours of cheese than I’ve loved in my lifetime up to this point.

In short, there was a lot of cheese on offer today.

I bloody love cheese.

If I’d have known the vast quantities of cheese on offer I would have taken a load of buttered slices of bread with me and knocked up a few cheese sarnies using the various samples on offer. If I’d planned it properly, I could even have got my hands on some pickle to go in the sandwich and make things just perfect.

But putting all that aside, the Good Food show was good at showing a few things about people as a whole.

People just stop, don’t they, for no reason. Just stop. Randomly. In the middle of an already crowded aisle. Just stop. And stare, slack-jawed at something that is not immediately adjacent to them,  but which has captured their interest. And then these self same people – the ones who have ground to a halt – just tut at you if you want to get passed.

People are very intolerant of pushchairs. “Well,” said one woman with a mouth like a duck’s arse, “I wouldn’t even have brought a pushchair to a place like this. That’s just idiocy!” She said this as a woman was just wheeling a pushchair past. It was interesting to note, though, that the woman with the pushchair had bought things from a variety of different stalls, whereas the woman complaining had nothing.

People are very intolerant of oils. “There’s a lot of oils!” I heard someone complain. I’d clocked two or three stalls that sold oils. There were a gazillion stands that sold cheese. If anything, there was a lot of cheese. The cheese to oil ration was skewed in favour of cheese, there’s no doubt about that. But equally there was a lot of stands selling pickles and preserves, a lot selling cakes, and shitloads selling wines which made your face screw up. But, for the people of Harrogate, too much oil. I’ll tell you what there were too many of – cars. I mean, I know Lexus were sponsoring parts of the show, but I’d gone along to stab small pieces of cheese with a cocktail stick, not to spend £52000 on a new car.

But I had a thoroughly enjoyable day. I discovered that a room full of people can come dangerously close to giving Mary Berry a standing ovation for making a salmon en croute, and that if you ask nicely you get a Hairy Biker to write Happy Birthday to your dad inside on of his books.

And I discovered biscuit butter. A spread, like peanut butter, made out of caramelised biscuits.


If anyone wants me, I’ll be eating that out of the jar with a spoon.