Last night, I think it’s safe to say, I went to be ridiculously early.

Carole had already bedded down before I even considered heading for bed, but at half past eight(!) I decided that I would go up and lie in bed, playing a game on my phone until I fell asleep. Because, I reasoned, I wasn’t tired. But lying in bed was just as good as sitting or lying on the couch downstairs.

But I wasn’t tired. I most definitely wasn’t tired.

So that’s what I did. I went to bed, and I lay under the covers playing a game on my phone. For approximately three minutes before I drifted off to sleep, smacked myself in the face with my phone, jerked awake and decided that maybe I was tired after all and that I shouldn’t fight it anymore.

I let sleep win. I let the exertions of fighting through angry people drift from my body as my eyelids slammed shut and the grip of slumber took me away to a variety of strange and mysterious lands. Including one in which I got off a train to catch another train but mistakenly got back on the train I had just gotten off. My dreams are nothing if not exciting. No, wait, not exciting, just really badly organised.

I woke up though, feeling refreshed. As my eyes opened, I took in my surroundings. The bedroom was dark, it was quiet outside, and quiet from the neighbouring houses. I reasoned that I had been asleep for several hours and that it was somewhere in the early hours of the morning. After all, going to sleep at just after half eight would have meant that I’d have racked up a good six hours of kip by three o’clock, which would leave me feeling refreshed, alert and wondering what the hell I would do if I chose to got up at this ungodly hour in the morning.

I glanced at the clock, fully expecting the red digits to shine back a time close to that which I had deduced it to be.

They shone back a time, alright.


I was lying in bed, awake and considering getting up at a time before I go to bed on a normal day.

However, as I lay there pondering what to do, it became clear that I wasn’t actually as awake as I’d first thought as sleep grabbed me by the hand and pulled me through a myriad of subconscious adventures, none of which make sense now but made perfect sense then.

Not that I was tired, you understand. I could have got up at any time I liked.

I just chose to sleep for 12 whole hours.

That’s what I’m telling myself.