There are a few rules that should always be observed in the evening.
An unexpected phone call after 9pm, for example, is never good news – with the level of bad news increasing with each subsequent hour that passes.
And anything shoved through your door at 10pm is unwelcome.
Because that’s what time the Kleeneze catalogue was delivered last night. Ten o’clock at night. Pushed through the door without a care in the world, with an order sheet saying it would be collected on Tuesday. As in today. As in, less than 24 hours to browse through the myriad things which could make your life easier in ways you couldn’t even begin to imagine and/or doorstops shaped like meerkats.
So while that was strange in itself, what was worse is the reaction that the catalogue had on Peppa. She went absolutely mental for it – possibly the first living creature in the history of the world ever to find a Kleeneze catalogue in anyway exciting.
She was so pleased to see it, in fact, that she hissed at me every time I tried to take it away from her. And not a friendly playful hiss. A really scary, long, drawn-out hiss which came across a little bit like “If you touch this catalogue I will cut you” in all honesty.
I couldn’t work out why she was acting the way she was acting until I was able to distract her enough to get the bloody thing off her.
It absolutely reeked of something – I don’t even want to think what – that clearly made a cat very protective of it. I’ll be honest, the bag the catalogue came in carried the heady aroma of a good strong widdle. Whether it was that which set Peppa off or whether it was a smell that I couldn’t detect – possibly one of another cat – I don’t know, but sufficed to say the Kleeneze catalogue found its way onto the doorstep within about ten minutes of it arriving through the door. That way if Peppa did decide to go mental and shred it or hump it or whatever it smelt like she should be doing to it then, with a clean conscience, I could rest in the knowledge that it wasn’t done inside this house.