I got to witness Peppa at her defensive peak this morning.
I got to see her in action as her territory was invaded not once, but twice, by neighbourhood cats.
I got to see how she dealt with the issue of other cats meandering into her house and eating her food.
I got to see it all.
And, frankly, I’m not impressed.
She’s crap at it.
It was a lovely day today, so despite going to bed at 2am, and to sleep at 3am, I was up at just before eight and pottering around in the kitchen assembling the components for a very nice chicken curry. I had been out into the garden and pegged the washing out, I was listening to the radio, had the back door propped open. It couldn’t have been any better.
I noticed the shadow of a cat in the doorway and not long after that the sound of cat biscuits being eaten. I had, just moments before, seen Peppa on the kitchen windowsill so I assumed that the shadow and noises were down to her. So you can imagine my surprise as my gaze passed over Peppa, still on the windowsill, blissfully ignorant to the crime taking place just feet from her nose.
I moved to see who the interloper was and subsequently scared it away.
This is when Peppa stepped up her game. Having been completely clueless and next door to useless when it came to the actual home invasion, she tried to make up for it after I had removed the offending animal from the house. Basically, she hung off the windowsill and hissed a bit. It was the cat equivalent of a small kid behind a much bigger kid just poking their head out and going “Yeah!” at the backs of some retreating bullies. It was pathetic.
But, apparently, how she deals with these issues as just five minutes later a different cat pulled the same stunt and Peppa did the same hissing after the fact thing. But, I thought, this time it was improved because she jumped down from the windowsill and faced the other cat. Defending the top step of the patio. Blocking the entrance to the house.
I was very proud of her at that moment. Very proud.
She ruined it just scant moments later as, returning from whatever phase of the curry I was at, I peered out of the door to find that Peppa was vigorously guarding our garden by the act of being in next door’s garden while the cat who had helped itself to Peppa’s food was just sprawled out in the sun on our patio.
Disappointed doesn’t even come close to covering it.