According to the news China are planning on opening a giant animal cloning lab.
Just take a moment to think about that – a lab in China dedicated to cloning giant animals. Massive dogs, enormous mice – Enormice, natch – and over-sized owls.
Why would anyone want to make giant animals, or copies of giant animals, in the first place? I mean, that sort of thing has super villain written all over it.
And what if they start cloning giant versions of already giant animals.
An elephant that could recreate Hannibal’s crossing of the Alps in a single step.
A blue whale so large that releasing it in the sea raises sea levels far more than global warming and melting ice caps could ever hope for. The people of, I don’t know, Hull and other coastal towns washed away or forced to live out their days in floating versions of their homes.
Thanks a lot, China.
But if they were hoping to keep this nefarious over-sized animal replication thing a secret then Sky News has blown it wide open, accompanying the story with a picture of what we assume are two normal-sized dogs. But then, Clifford the big red dog could look like a normal dog as well – assuming you could see past the fact he was red – it’s all a matter of perspective.
I imagine the world’s governments are ready to step in and stop this now that Sky News have run with the story. Forces amassing to stop this before it even gets off the ground (assuming they clone birds too). It could lead to all out war, and China would have all the big animals like a crazy, life-threatening Pokémon battle.
China plans giant animal cloning lab.
It’s a massive story. We need to do something about it….
… Oh… wait…
…. maybe it just means a large lab in which the would clone animals.
Oh Sky News, what have you done?