We went to the cinema this morning – these early morning Sunday showings are totally the way forward. Apart from today, but I’ll get on to that in a moment.
We went to see Jason Bourne, the latest Bourne movie and the one that’s got Matt Damon back in the saddle. I liked the first three Bourne movies, I haven’t seen the one with Hawkeye in, and then there’s this one. I liked it, but I didn’t like it like it. I wouldn’t cross broken glass in my bare feet, wearing a vest, to see it.
When the films first came out, I bought the Bourne series of novels by Robert Ludlum. I started the first one. And that’s honestly as far as I got. They could use Robert Ludlum books as euthanasia aids, because they are just so wordy when they really don’t need to be. Like there’s no editorial control over the stuff that is put on the pages. One of his books – I forget which – there is an entire chapter where he calls all the characters by different names because even he started to drift off and not pay attention to what was written there.
And I kind of felt that was what this latest film was like. It was very big on words. And, well, how many more people from his past can Jason David Webb Bourne need to kill? There’s a scene early on in the film where Julia Styles’ character downloads ten files of black ops stuff. Bourne has exposed, destroyed and whatever elsed two of them already. That leaves 8 – well, 7 by the end of this film. A little part of me died inside. I sincerely hope he doesn’t have to get involved in all of them.
So, as I say, I liked it but I didn’t love it. Carole said I was too fidgety, so she could tell I wasn’t into it.
But I was also not into the fact that for the first time in ages, I was having to sit next to someone in the cinema. I mean, what the actual F guys? This doesn’t happen. It hasn’t happened in a very, very long time. And yet there I was next to a woman with the largest drink humanly possible and who, on sitting down, whipped out her phone and was all like, “OMG, 16 Facebook notifications. That’s just crazy…”
And then there was a man who started coughing halfway through. But not actually coughing. More like a cough you were trying to suppress for some reason. Repeatedly. He was sitting next to the people we were sitting next to.
Still, it’s Suicide Squad next week.
I guarantee no fidgeting for that one!